Hydro Harvest Farm Megapost: The Sequel

We know it's been a while since the first Hydro Harvest Farm post, but we decided to really ramp up the suspense for Part II. And let me tell you, YOU COULD CUT THE TENSION IN HERE WITH A BUTTER KNIFE. Well folks, the wait is finally over. You've seen the vegetables fresh, now see them..........sauteed. In all seriousness, we're not the best cooks around (see turkey burgers below), but when you have veggies this good, it's hard to F them up.

This is one of the most recent meals we made, but we'll start with it, in case you don't scroll down.














For this one we used the red lettuce and arugula, topped with steak, strawberries, and blue cheese. Compared to the $3 bags of pre-washed and cut spinach we normally buy, these tasty greens were definitely an upgrade.















St. EATersburg isn't exactly destitute, but what we're trying to say is, we eat a lot of eggs. These 2 are sunny-side up, shooting the shit with sauteed peppers and onions from the farm. We also blended some of the really good herbs from Hydro with olive oil and poured it on there. That garlic chive is trying to get all fancy for the camera--god, what a show-off.















More eggs. This was probably later the same day, to be honest with you. More red lettuce and chives, Greek yogurt, hot sauce, wrap. I know we poked fun at the chives earlier, but that was just our own insecurity talking. We tried to sprinkle them on pretty much everything for a week. Why doesn't anyone need us like that??















Eggs, Swiss chard and some other crap (cheese?). Eat your heart out Jacques Pepin, we like our omelets country-style! We served this peasant dish on our "egg plate," i.e. we took a time-machine to Target in 1985 and spent $.99 on it. Thanks for the hot tip Ming Tsai! (Too soon?)
















Turkey burgers and baked sweet potato fries. This was honestly pretty gross. Move along, nothing to see here...
















Redemption, thy name is baby eggplant! We stir-fried the bok choy and eggplant and served it with fresh salmon cakes topped with sesame aioli. This was really good. The only downside of the meal is our Cuisinart still smells like fish. In fact, we wish we were eating this for dinner tonight, instead of eggs, dammit.

For more eggs and better-looking dinnerware, go here: http://putaneggonit.blogspot.com

We'd like to dedicate this blog post to the fine folks at Hydro Harvest Farm, and whatever freaky-deaky Terminator II-style chickens lay those jumbo eggs we buy at Publix.



















You juicin' bro!

Hydro Harvest Farms Megapost: Part I

With 4/20 just around the corner, we wanted to ring in the holiday with a hydroponic post, St. EATersburg-style. We know that hydroponic rhymes with chronic, but this ain't Method Man's blog: we spent a sunny Sunday afternoon harvesting fresh vegetables. Hope this doesn't get us kicked out of Wu Tang(!):















We've picked apples before, but our only experience with growing veggies was a packet of radish seeds we got in a Happy Meal two decades ago that refused to sprout. So much for Mickey D's '92 green initiative. Who's laughing now Ronald McDonald.

Anyway, this day had little to do with homegrown cannabis, hip-hop or fast food, but against all odds, we still had fun. Hydro Harvest Farms in Ruskin, FL is but a short jaunt in the minivan from St. Pete. This family-owned operation lets you pick seasonal and organic fruits, veggies and herbs. The super-friendly owners give you a basket, a pair of scissors and tell you to get after it.















With fresh Swiss chard, butter and red lettuce, sweet potatoes, peppers, bok choy, arugula and a ton of herbs to choose from, it was hard to know where to begin. But Jonathan had his sights set on the world's tiniest eggplant.



















Baby (eggplant), you put my heart in mo-tion. I love you with the sweetest of de-voo-tion!

The farm is pretty small, so after about half an hour of pickin', plus a pit stop in the pumpkin patch (see above), we had filled our baskets.















On our way to the register we were placing bets on how much we had overshot our budget. Jonathan guessed $20 and Jessie, doing her best Bob Barker impression, wagered $19. The price is WRONG, bitch! We paid $9 total for this bounty. Whole Foods eat your heart out.















Stay tuned for Part II to see how we transformed this cornucopia into tasty nom-noms...


Hydro Harvest Farms
1101 Shell Point Rd. East
Ruskin, FL
813.645.6574

Crabby Bill's

After years of hearing the phrase "Early Bird Special" tossed around on Bingo night and in the small print at the bottom of the IHOP menu, St Eatersburg finally had the opportunity to hunt down this elusive creature. In the backwaters of the St. Pete Beach retirement community, we patiently stalked the beast until his feeding time (between lunch and happy hour), dropped a line and reeled in this handsome devil:















No, he is not a Portuguese Man O' War. We quickly jotted some field notes:

Common Name: Crabby Bill
Latin Name: Cantankerous Robertica
Range and Habitat: north of the border, down Mexico way
Characteristics: beach side patio (watch the seagulls)
Behaviors: enjoys listening to Jimmy Buffett at high volumes in the late afternoon
Diet: (see below)

The only way to start a meal at 4pm is with a good, stiff drink:















We don't remember what the drink was called, or how much it was, which speaks to its potency and deliciousness.

Another marriage made in heaven is raw oysters in 105 degree heat. We're sure these guys were ice cold and refreshing at some point, but by the time we got to the second one they were already medium rare.















Despite this rocky start, between the booze and the bivalves, Crabby Bill was starting to look good enough to eat ;) So, we decided to stay awhile, and boy he didn't make us regret it.

Next we ordered something called "Bang-Bang Shrimp":














These were amazing. They were battered, deep-fried and glazed in a sauce that must have been designed by the good Lord Himself, because OH MY F*CKING GOD WERE THEY TASTY. They can only be described thusly.

Our main course, a soft-shell crab sandwich, was no less a religious experience. Did Noah even have these guys on the Ark? If so, how could he resist dipping them in tartar sauce for 40 days and 40 nights??
















Don't feel too bad Mr. Crabby, I'd die here too:
















Despite the temptation of Key Lime Pie, we opted for fresh fruit for dessert.



















(Happy Halloween!)

In the end, Cantankerous Robertica proved to be a worthy foe and a truly majestic beast. He may appear docile in the wild, but don't try to domesticate him. We played catch-and-release this time, but we'll hunt again, Bill. Oh yes, we will hunt again.

Crabby Bill's Seafood
5100 Gulf Blvd
St Pete Beach

727.360.8858

Home Edition: Publix

St. EATersburg hasn't had cable, much less a working television, in nearly a decade. So when we discovered that our new apartment came with both of those things free of charge, we knew EXACTLY how this guy felt:




















The past few weeks have pretty much been a 24-hour closed-circuit loop of The Food Network...with a little Teen Mom Reunion: A Chat with Dr. Drew during the commercial breaks. We quickly became fascinated by these two creatures:


















For those out of the loop, this FrightFest is called Bobby and Paula Deen. The one on the right eats butter with a spoon, and the one on the left still suckles mayonnaise from his momma's teat. Doesn't Bobby's grin scream, "I bake cakes with my mom for a living!"

Despite all this, we're huge fans!!!! After being mesmerized by 30 minutes of sexual tension, we decided we had to take their salmon recipe for a test drive. Serendipity! St. EATersburg had also been dying to check out the fish counter at the local supermarket megachain: Publix.

This was the raw material ($9.99/lb.):














We followed the recipe to a T, but left out the Oedipal Complex and replaced it with 20 minutes of shelling pistachios. In short, you crust the salmon with ground pistachios, sear it, and top with lemon cream sauce. On the side is pumpkin orzo.















The salmon was excellent, and that's not just the cream sauce talking. For your typical neighborhood supermarket, Publix has fresh-ass fish, owing to the fact that you can basically cast a rod from their parking lot and snag Free Willy. It was tender as son Bobby and supple as momma Dean. Now get outta here, Chopped is on in 5 minutes and it looks like it's going to be a barnburner!

Publix
250 3rd St. South
St. Petersburg, FL
727.822.1125

Lucky Dill Deli

When you ask someone in St. Pete where the movie theater is, they'll say, "Three blocks down from Lucky Dill Deli." When you ask where one might be able to find an ATM, they'll say, "In the plaza, you know, the one across from Lucky Dill." While these directions are exceedingly unhelpful for those new to town, we did make a mental note to add it to the brunch bucket list.

Lucky Dill bills itself as the "Best Deli This Side of NYC." Being Brooklynites ourselves, we normally think of a deli as a place to buy a 40 of Olde English at 3 AM or perhaps a lottery ticket when the Mega Millions jackpot is especially tantalizing. Apparently this one serves sandwiches though, whatever. We think our meal at Lucky Dill really speaks for itself...Heyo!

Hello, everyone. I am Southwest Chicken Omelette!














I am stuffed full of Tex-Mex treats: spicy chicken, sauteed onions, cheddar cheese, and what I think is my best feature, a spicy aioli for that extra kick! I never travel anywhere without my buddies Hash Browns and Whole Wheat Toast. I've been told I have great taste, but I admit I am insecure about my midsection...it's a little oozy and undercooked. My friends are going to say this is just negative self-talk, but if I were to be completely honest, I'd give myself a 4 out of 10.

Hi! My name is Swirly Cheesecake Brownie.














I look innocent enough in this photo, but I harbor a devilish secret. I am about 45 minutes away from giving St. EATersburg some horrible lactose-related stomach cramps. It's not my fault you ate all of me in one sitting!

Lucky Dill Deli
277 Central Avenue
St. Petersburg, Florida
727.895.5859

Chappy's

You know when you start a job and you're not yet sure if it's cool to eat at your desk, so you're just perpetually starving? You're also still in the dress-to-impress phase, so you don't want to get crumbs all over your recently dry-cleaned blazer? And what if your new boss walked into your office when you had a mouthful of peanut butter sandwich? Don't even get me started...

Well, the gainfully employed half of St. EATersburg found herself in just such a pickle this week, so the other half of St. EATs came to the rescue with takeout from one of Central Avenue's heavy-hitters: Chappy's. What's better to eat in the park in 90-degree heat than deep fried Cajun food?

First course was a trifecta of fish tacos. Despite a 20-minute drive in an air conditioning-less Dodge Caravan, they held up quite well! Big, long strips of white fish were nicely breaded and fried. They lay prostrate on a bed of crunchy cabbage slaw and spicy mayo. As Guy Fieri would say: "Dynamite!"















We washed these down with a side of more cole slaw. Slaw double-down! It tasted like this:















The second half of our a la carte Surf 'n' Turf was pork slidahs. The consistency was on the tough/dry side, but they had nice flavor, and it didn't hurt that they were doused in more Cajun mayo. These sliders were also a helpful reminder that potato rolls are delicious.
















You can't have sliders without fries. Well actually you can. They were 5 bucks extra but we got them on the side. These were probably very good at some point, but they were pretty soggy by the time we got to them. Think back to the worst order of french fries you ever got. I bet you ate at least 20 of them. So did we.















Chappy's was definitely better than average, but food goes down pretty easy in the company of baby palm trees.
















Chappy's
247 Central Avenue
St. Petersburg, Florida
727.896.5118

Home Edition: I.C. Sharks Seafood Market

Restaurants in St. Pete may be relatively inexpensive, but we'd still go broke if we ate out every night. Hence, the St. EATersburg Home Edition.

We had a hankering for fresh seafood, and a quick Google search led us to IC Sharks Seafood Market. The market has a cool, beachy vibe, but once we stepped inside we realized we'd pay heavily for this ambiance. The fish looked shiny and fresh. The price tags, however, were higher than anticipated.

We decided to go for two of the cheapest options: a half pound each of salmon ($12.99/lb) and shrimp ($13.99/lb). Our friendly counter lady had a heavy hand, though. We walked out with 3/4 lb. of salmon, 2/3 lb. of shrimp, and a $20 price tag that defeated the purpose of eating in.

To offset the cost, we split our bounty into two meals. The first night, we marinated the salmon fillet in a sesame-ginger sauce, seared it, and served it on a salad of spinach, cashews, starfruit, and unsweetened coconut flakes with a yogurt-peanut dressing. The fish was quite frankly sexcellent. It tasted very fresh and had a nice flaky texture.















Dinner #2 was a recipe we found on Epicurious: shrimp and chicken pasta with a creamy wine sauce. We were feeling a little guilty after our bacon cheeseburger extravaganza (see previous post), so we decided to use whole wheat pasta and fat-free half and half...we still breaded the chicken though. The scriiiimpz were a b*tch to peel and clean, but they sure made sweet love to our taste buds.

Before














After














The bottom line: IC Sharks was a bit overpriced, but they have some super sea creatures.

IC Sharks Seafood Market
13060 Gandy Blvd.
St.Petersburg, Florida
727.498.8568