Hydro Harvest Farms Megapost: Part I

With 4/20 just around the corner, we wanted to ring in the holiday with a hydroponic post, St. EATersburg-style. We know that hydroponic rhymes with chronic, but this ain't Method Man's blog: we spent a sunny Sunday afternoon harvesting fresh vegetables. Hope this doesn't get us kicked out of Wu Tang(!):















We've picked apples before, but our only experience with growing veggies was a packet of radish seeds we got in a Happy Meal two decades ago that refused to sprout. So much for Mickey D's '92 green initiative. Who's laughing now Ronald McDonald.

Anyway, this day had little to do with homegrown cannabis, hip-hop or fast food, but against all odds, we still had fun. Hydro Harvest Farms in Ruskin, FL is but a short jaunt in the minivan from St. Pete. This family-owned operation lets you pick seasonal and organic fruits, veggies and herbs. The super-friendly owners give you a basket, a pair of scissors and tell you to get after it.















With fresh Swiss chard, butter and red lettuce, sweet potatoes, peppers, bok choy, arugula and a ton of herbs to choose from, it was hard to know where to begin. But Jonathan had his sights set on the world's tiniest eggplant.



















Baby (eggplant), you put my heart in mo-tion. I love you with the sweetest of de-voo-tion!

The farm is pretty small, so after about half an hour of pickin', plus a pit stop in the pumpkin patch (see above), we had filled our baskets.















On our way to the register we were placing bets on how much we had overshot our budget. Jonathan guessed $20 and Jessie, doing her best Bob Barker impression, wagered $19. The price is WRONG, bitch! We paid $9 total for this bounty. Whole Foods eat your heart out.















Stay tuned for Part II to see how we transformed this cornucopia into tasty nom-noms...


Hydro Harvest Farms
1101 Shell Point Rd. East
Ruskin, FL
813.645.6574

Crabby Bill's

After years of hearing the phrase "Early Bird Special" tossed around on Bingo night and in the small print at the bottom of the IHOP menu, St Eatersburg finally had the opportunity to hunt down this elusive creature. In the backwaters of the St. Pete Beach retirement community, we patiently stalked the beast until his feeding time (between lunch and happy hour), dropped a line and reeled in this handsome devil:















No, he is not a Portuguese Man O' War. We quickly jotted some field notes:

Common Name: Crabby Bill
Latin Name: Cantankerous Robertica
Range and Habitat: north of the border, down Mexico way
Characteristics: beach side patio (watch the seagulls)
Behaviors: enjoys listening to Jimmy Buffett at high volumes in the late afternoon
Diet: (see below)

The only way to start a meal at 4pm is with a good, stiff drink:















We don't remember what the drink was called, or how much it was, which speaks to its potency and deliciousness.

Another marriage made in heaven is raw oysters in 105 degree heat. We're sure these guys were ice cold and refreshing at some point, but by the time we got to the second one they were already medium rare.















Despite this rocky start, between the booze and the bivalves, Crabby Bill was starting to look good enough to eat ;) So, we decided to stay awhile, and boy he didn't make us regret it.

Next we ordered something called "Bang-Bang Shrimp":














These were amazing. They were battered, deep-fried and glazed in a sauce that must have been designed by the good Lord Himself, because OH MY F*CKING GOD WERE THEY TASTY. They can only be described thusly.

Our main course, a soft-shell crab sandwich, was no less a religious experience. Did Noah even have these guys on the Ark? If so, how could he resist dipping them in tartar sauce for 40 days and 40 nights??
















Don't feel too bad Mr. Crabby, I'd die here too:
















Despite the temptation of Key Lime Pie, we opted for fresh fruit for dessert.



















(Happy Halloween!)

In the end, Cantankerous Robertica proved to be a worthy foe and a truly majestic beast. He may appear docile in the wild, but don't try to domesticate him. We played catch-and-release this time, but we'll hunt again, Bill. Oh yes, we will hunt again.

Crabby Bill's Seafood
5100 Gulf Blvd
St Pete Beach

727.360.8858